The Year of Insomnia (part 1)
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I realized that the Scientists had designed a very well-organized mechanism to succeed in tiring us out: little by little we slept less and less. For example, already while I was in the second house one began to struggle to sleep, because the neighbors were very noisy, as early as 5:00 a.m. they would start getting ready to go to work and would make an incredible racket until 7:00 preventing me from sleeping -- taking into account that my schedule was different -- and it started to take away hours of sleep; but I didn't complain too much because I thought it was normal; however, when I moved to the third house and started to see all these mechanisms united for the purpose of preventing us from sleeping, so that day after day we were less and less lucid and less perceptive. The Scientists were madly afraid to approach us without first waiting all that time that was needed to make us tired and thus, according to their calculations, lower in perception and psychic faculties. Tired us it is true, but no more than that. Whenever an event happened that rang alarm bells in my head, we would go under to practice to act immediately for the purpose of counteracting it and in the meantime to find out as much information as possible about that event. You need this topic to understand how you get into certain situations and how you get out of them, even when it seems like it is impossible to put your foot out of the loop of negative events. First of all, the purpose was to tire us out as much as possible and not to make us have time either during the day or night to perform our tasks so that the whole psychic life would lose out. But the cleverness lies in not waiting, not putting it off until you have time because they will never give you time to recover! So after the first few days of settling into the new house since the move, Alexander and I immediately began to make arrangements so that whatever events and setbacks happened we would always be able to practice our things. The difficulty of course comes when different events happen every day from the day before to distract you and waste your time so that you are not prepared and cannot prevent the problem because you will not know what it will be or how it will behave. The solution is to leave immediately prepared on the idea that something unexpected can happen every day, so if you already know that the unexpected can come you organize your day by putting the first commitments as the most important ones and only to follow those less important. We tend to habitually do the less important tasks first but which we may think are the most strenuous or the most urgent, but at the level of importance they are actually the lowest. For example, you rush to do the dishes because you think it is more urgent, but then you find yourself not having done the shopping yet and in the meantime the store has already closed because it is getting late so you will have to put it off until tomorrow; if you had done the two commitments in reverse you would have been able to accomplish both because you would not have had any schedule problems. For us there were "urgent" commitments and important commitments, so we would carry out the important ones first-which were related to the Practice-and only afterwards the urgent ones, because the urgent ones actually pushed a kind of hurry that was too exaggerated: the urgent hurry to carry out a task that actually could be accomplished even later. There was a mental hurry that you couldn't tell where it was coming from. Be careful about the hurry, because the rush to do tasks and choices that are too important to be made without proper thought is always a wake-up call you should listen to: the hurry serves to make you wrong, with absolute certainty it is a trap. This does not mean that to avoid haste you should postpone a choice indefinitely, but rather ask yourself why there is that strong sense of urgency to make such an important decision within seconds of time, even though you need time to think about such a choice, and then instead for a task that would take only a few minutes of your time you decide instead to put it off for days at a time.
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Excessive haste is the same as that used by door-to-door salesmen when they want to scam you and put pen to paper to get you to sign urgently so that you will not have time to think about it and thus realize that you are being tricked. Don't be in a hurry to get scammed! Ask yourself why this mechanism is happening and try to undo it by putting the important commitments first and only after the "urgent" ones that demand that strange and excessive haste. The important commitments are those that bring you to a real conclusion, offer you something concrete; the falsely urgent commitments, on the other hand, make you believe that there is no time to waste because you immediately have to do that task, but in reality doing it now or doing it later will not change anything because it will not bring any change in your life. If you do the dishes in the afternoon or you do them in the evening, in the whole of your life nothing will change, it will just be one of the many annoying tasks that you want to take off your hands as soon as possible but in fact whether you do it sooner or later will not change anything. If you were about to wash the dishes and someone interrupts you, because of an unforeseen event you have to urgently leave the house and have to put off the dishes until tomorrow, it might even be considered a nuisance but in fact it is nothing serious. Nevertheless, always ask yourself whether that event was really urgent enough to force you to leave the house in a hurry, or whether it is just an excuse to make you rush and stress for no real reason. But if, on the other hand, you have spent the day doing all the urgent tasks including cleaning, grocery shopping, washing dishes, everything, and then in the afternoon as soon as you are about to sit down to Practice they push you to urgently get out of the house, everything changes because putting off the practice until tomorrow is not the same as doing it today; especially because putting it off until tomorrow will mean that tomorrow you will put it off again, with absolute certainty you will fall for it the next day as well. In the latter case, you preferred to do all the "urgent" tasks in a hurry to get them off your plate because they were defined as a nuisance, but in the meantime you put off until the last moment the really important tasks, which because of an unforeseen event will be postponed again. You have to find balance and be able to do all the activities a little at a time without ever falling to the opposite side. I give the example of the person who says he wants to practice all day long and in the meantime lets his house become a sewer with the excuse that "cleaning is a Low task so you don't have to waste time on it because you have to practice" yes but if you get sick because of the sewer you live in, the problems become much more serious! On the other hand, we can see people who are overly fixated on housekeeping or have the anxiety of always having to do all tasks with the utmost urgency: do you lack milk in the fridge? You could wait until tomorrow morning to do the full shopping, instead there are those who will rush out today to buy only milk, and then go out again tomorrow to do the shopping. It doesn't make sense, and yet urgent and hurried commitments serve precisely to make you perform meaningless actions, so that you will waste your whole day at chasing after useless and meaningless events. And what will you be left with at the end of the month? You will have accomplished your "urgent tasks" every day, but another month will have passed in which you will have accomplished nothing good in your life. I am explaining this to you because although it may sound like trivial talk it is actually these events that prevent you from practicing and freeing yourself from alien attacks and manipulations. Therefore, if you learn to manage your daily time you can also Practice well; but as long as you remain tied to urgent tasks and get carried away by whatever event happens and which presents itself as extra-important only because it wants to rush you, then you will continue to perform a thousand useless tasks to make ends meet that you will have accomplished nothing useful for your life.
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The method I used to be able to manage all the situations that happened every day in my life, part of which I have already told you about above and which allowed you to understand how difficult it was to find time to practice-but I always found it! - was to organize my days by putting the important tasks first and only after the "urgent" ones. This was because the tasks that presented themselves as urgent, were not really so, but made me believe so in every way, putting a strange anxiogenic hurry that only served to make me take a wrong turn. Don't be in a hurry to make decisions or perform tasks that make you anxious because they were put there to screw you over! Based on my experience, all the Scientists and aliens were doing at that time was trying to engage me as much as possible with events that came at the last moment and that I could not foresee, but that showed themselves with such incredible urgency that it was easy to fall for them. But how many really were urgent? At the time it seemed that if I didn't do those tasks immediately all hell would break loose, but then I realized that if I didn't do them right away they would end up resolving themselves, the vast majority of them, or something would simply happen that would make my job easier and I would spend less time than I would have to use if I had instead committed to those events right away by creating a schedule where I had to run with urgency for whatever happened. You have to be careful because the aliens and/or various enemies use this strategy a lot, which is to make you think that there is urgency and you have to immediately run to solve that problem. The thing was that people around me were going crazy and begging me for urgent help, so it seemed that if I didn't hurry up and help them solve those problems they would die! But none of this was real; this pressure was being created on those people-momentarily used as Antennae to project their problems on me-through which they would have to throw numerous burdens on me with extreme urgency, so their pressure would stress me out and then I would have to feel obliged to hurry up and solve their problems almost to feel better myself. This program was very strange: I had to solve other people's problems almost as if it was for me to feel better, because the burden they were throwing on me was so great that in order to get it off my shoulders I would engage in solving other people's issues to feel relieved of those expectations and demands on me. I realized, however, that it was a strange but strong negative trap specifically designed against me, because those problems were not mine and there was no reason why I should feel compelled to take responsibility for all others' issues to the point that if I did not solve their problems I would feel anxious. Aliens exploit your weaknesses, which sometimes can even be your strengths reshaped so that they can be used against you. My altruism was being used against me, because so much was the helpfulness to others that the people around me were being used as Antennae to pin their problems on me and force me to spend my time solving what they should have been taking care of instead! It was their lives but I was the one who had to take care of them, while they - as if that were not enough - spent their time complaining and whining at me because I was not solving their lives fast enough. They meanwhile were standing still twiddling their thumbs and waiting for the Miracle without doing anything to solve their own troubles. It took me a while before I realized that this was a trap toward me, but when I realized it I decided to let go and return the responsibility for their lives into the hands of the direct owners. For quite a while they tried to put their burdens back on me, because people do not feel like taking responsibility for their own lives and always want someone else to run their lives! And I won't deny that some times they managed to hand me their burdens again without my having the strength to refuse to help them, because I felt guilty if I didn't help them.
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But at fault for what exactly? My help was not due, but the people around me suddenly tried to make me believe that it was a duty for me to spend my life worrying about theirs! Nothing could be more wrong. So you have to pay attention to any form of time-wasting and what I nowadays also call forms of entertainment, because at the moment they don't seem like a waste of time to you-just as I didn't feel like I was wasting my time even when I spent entire days helping people who didn't deserve my help-in fact it will seem right and you will almost feel satisfied that you used all that time to perform those tasks. But then, in reality, those were situations that were created at the table to manipulate you, specifically to make you waste whole days chasing events that would get you nowhere and have none to materialize events that were useful to yourself. Because the truth is that those people would end up putting commitments on me that they didn't even really need my help with, but they were only doing it to occupy my time no matter what: then whether I solved them or not didn't change anything to them because once I had wasted my time solving their problems, it turned out that they didn't really care about the outcome either. It only served to keep me busy. I can give the example of a person who was whining and begging me to help her find a job: I put a lot of effort into helping her, and thanks to my constant interest she found a very good position, well paid and with a good contract. But that person went for a few days and then changed her mind because she no longer wanted to work as she was still being supported by her parents and decided that she wanted to resume with her studies instead. A lot of effort and hard work on my part to find him a job so that he would stop despairing and whining, and then he left the job after a few days because he was actually not interested in working but doing anything else. After a few months he stopped studying and started looking for work again, asking me for help again. This is just one of the many examples that were happening while I should have been only taking care of my daily matters and instead I was not giving my whole self to solve the situations that interested me because I was spending too much time solving other people's problems, which then in reality were not even problems but only distractions that poured over me. So much has to be learned from these lessons. During that period of missing sleep due to the artificial attacks of the Scientists and aliens, it was much easier to fall into such deceptions because fatigue takes away your lucidity and thus makes you more likely to act hastily without perceiving priorities and understanding whether there is deception. But after the first few days of discombobulation in which Alexander and I realized that too many unforeseen events were happening to destroy the routine we intended to follow each day, we decided to reorganize our to-do lists by always putting the Important Practices to be done each day at the forefront and then only after the other commitments. Following this style, it was very difficult for the Scientists to be able to distract us and take away our time to practice, because it was the very first thing we did! But so many times students reading these sentences confuse the meaning of priority and think they need to save time on some action that would take 2 minutes, and then waste hours enduring a disturbance. I give the example of those who think that choosing to practice first thing in the morning means waking up in the morning and not even going to the bathroom as those 2 minutes would waste time; however, then they are left to "meditate" with the nuisance of peeing disturbing the whole session of practices; understand that this does not make sense. I mean you have to avoid extremes, because if you fall into one extreme or if you fall into the other you are still doing wrong. If before meditating you have to take twenty showers and clean every inch of the house and then complain that you don't have time to do a meditation, or if before meditating you don't even wash your face "so as not to waste time" and then you live in a sewer because there is not a single day when you devote yourself to cleaning, it is obvious that you are doing wrong in both cases.
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Every day there is little time to do all the tasks, but if you organize a weekly routine in which you decide on which day you have to clean, on which day you have to do the shopping, and on which day you can take care of the tasks that are boring to do-but unfortunately have to be done anyway-you start to have much more time during the daily routine because every event is done on the day of duty. Therefore, the Practices will turn out to be much smoother and of high quality, because you will not have to meditate in a dirty and messy room, but neither will you have to meditate only after you have finished all the cleaning and then Never. The Scientists were finding every way to take time away from us, we had to take all that time back with interest. We practiced even more than we did before! We practiced while we were at work, we practiced all those hours when we could not sleep because of the noise but we could Attack, and we practiced much more when we were outside the house rather than inside. Need sharpens the wits and it is really important to strive to sharpen it in every situation, because problems should never overwhelm you but you are the one who has to find the right lever to get them off you. The more time they took away from us, the more we learned to use our daily commitments to our advantage. Can't spend a single minute at home practicing? Fine I'll practice at work! Can't spend a single minute at home working on my projects? Fine I will do it on my lunch breaks! I can't be quiet one minute they call me in a thousand to solve their problems? Well I will turn off my phone and reduce my daily commitments that are not really mine but are the commitments of others that throw back on me. And if the situation calmed down during the day and there was more free time and silence, I would carry out my most important tasks but postpone those that were falsely urgent: instead of cleaning the house during the day and postponing practice until the evening, when they would then turn up the music and I would not be able to practice well, I would choose to practice during the day and clean in the evening; by this I am not telling you that from today you too must start cleaning in the evening, because you simply do not find yourself in the situation where your neighbors turn up the music until 5:00 a.m.! But I am explaining that if the situation puts you in a corner, it is only fair that you organize your tasks without being closed-minded. Logically you should clean during the day so that you don't make noise, but in my case the neighbors didn't care about the noise that disturbed me all night preventing me from sleeping so if I cleaned in the evening no one complained. With this concept I would like to explain that this works when all the events of your day follow a logical thread. But if there are a thousand interferences in your daily routine that do not follow any logic, there comes a time when you step outside the box and start organizing your routine following your own rhythm, not the socially accepted rhythm. If everyone goes grocery shopping in the morning, but that time of the day is the only time you can be alone and quiet, you might decide to go grocery shopping in the late afternoon for example with your partner, so you are sure that the morning is all yours and you don't end up instead grocery shopping in the morning and then in the afternoon neglecting your partner (to go meditate) even though that is the only time you could spend time together. If you prioritize grocery shopping in order not to meditate, and you meditate in order not to give time to your partner and even risk breaking up with each other because of your unnecessary decision to neglect him or her, it is clear that there is something seriously wrong with your organization and you should make sense of your day by shuffling your commitments into the right order. Don't follow social rules if they serve to take the whole day out of your hands, but follow your own rhythms, your own important commitments, and don't get overwhelmed by commitments that pretend to be urgent. This is how we went through the period even though we were not sleeping because that was the only way we could come out healthy and peaceful. Otherwise, there was no way out. That was exactly how I always found time to do everything even though there was no time.
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Because not a single day went by when I thought only of myself, but while I was able to carry on with my important commitments-the various Practices I had to do-I was also able to write the Books on Past Lives, give lectures and Pathways within the Academy for my students, and carry out numerous Live Tours around Italy, from the south to the north without any problems and helping so many students face their obstacles. It is very important to organize your days well because that is the only way you find the time to Evolve: if you put the Practice in the forefront, it will not only be the time you devote to it directly (e.g., when you are at home alone and quiet and can practice without disturbance) but you start to have insights on how to succeed in practicing more even when everything around you would have you believe that it is impossible or even that you should not do it. And why wouldn't you? For example, while you are walking down the street, on your way to work, or while you are on public transportation on your way to your commitments, you can practice a variety of techniques and psychic tasks. Or before you fall asleep, instead of immersing yourself in fantasies or worse still in low thoughts concerning problems, fears of the future, or memories of negative events that happened the days before, choose instead to practice certain techniques that serve you to fall asleep Conscious, Positive, and High in Tone. If you wish to put practice first in your commitments, you begin to think with a different and more productive mental mechanism, because for every thing you do or every situation you find yourself in, you begin to squeeze moments of practice into them without bringing mental limitations on yourself anymore. Let's take the example of when you like someone you would like to date and you start really thinking about her every moment of the day. You are working and you think about her. You go to the gym and you think about her. You're on the road, grocery shopping, walking the dog, driving, and still you're thinking about her. You are so interested in that person that there is no time when you are not thinking about her, you are not limited by the work or the study in front of you, because you are always thinking about her. This example allows you to understand that if you want to focus on something you can do it even while you are working or while you are walking, while you are on the bus or while you are in the park. Although the example I explained above of thinking about a person is not one of the best choices, since you should instead try to think as little as possible, it is equally useful to make you understand that if you want to think about the person you like, you do not put any limits on yourself either of where you are or the activities you are doing; so why should you put limits on yourself when it comes to practice? Why, if you want to think about the person you like do you decide that you can do it even while you are swimming, or while you are upside down, while you always have to wait for the right moment to practice? You could come up with a thousand excuses to answer this question, but they would only be excuses, no real, sensible answer. It may seem that thinking about a person is less demanding and requires less energy; instead, thinking about that person causes you to expend a lot of energy, but because it is "accepted" by your mind then you believe it can be done without problems. But in truth you could occupy that time to think about something useful, that is, to attend to some practice that requires the exact same mental effort that you would use to think about a person, but with the difference that instead of making you expend energy the practice would offer you some, making you recharge and replenish. It's different! If right now it seems to you that practicing with the mind is much more tiring than spending all day thinking about a person, it is because in the second case you have been accustomed to the collective idea that thinking about a person is socially accepted, while practicing with the mind is not. The commitment is the exact same: Instead of thinking about a person you focus on a technique, for example, calling up blue prana on yourself, or expanding your aura. You have so much time to "think" during the day that you waste it thinking about problems or other people, but you don't use even 1 percent of your thoughts to summon energy to you or to feel your aura, or to strengthen a chakra, or to protect yourself while you are away from home.
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If you understand that you can practice instead of thinking about someone, and you begin to get used to this new mental activity, past the first few days when the change in mental effort will require effort and concentration, it will then become a nice habit from there on that will be easier to carry on. Of course, the attempt of negative interferences to throw other mental commitments into your head will always be around the corner; but if you decide to use your thoughts to be productive toward you, you will realize that it will be much easier to carry on this good habit than wasting your time thinking about problems or other people and then finding yourself tired and consumed every night. But how are you consumed? By expending your energy everywhere, really everywhere, because you think about everyone and everything but yourself. If, on the other hand, you use your thoughts to draw energy to you during the day, by the end of the evening you will feel energized, clear-headed, full of motivation and willpower to carry out your projects. It's not easy to understand if you read without practicing, but if you start putting my teachings into practice you will realize that you will naturally choose to absorb energy and waste less and less of it behind futile thoughts that will do you no good. Start using your thoughts to get results, and stop wasting them by directing your mental energy toward people or situations but that at the end of the day will have gotten you nowhere. If you think about one person all day long, it is because you do not know how to keep your mind engaged and you find yourself forced to throw your energy at a scapegoat. If you keep your mind focused on the Present, you will no longer need any scapegoat on which to throw your energies, because instead you will prefer to assimilate and draw clean energies back to you. Recharging yourself is better than consuming yourself.
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